Concerning Faith

For many of you in college and getting ready to graduate, how do you see your lives right now? My last post was for those of you waiting for that "special other" to come along. This post is for you friends who fall into the "happy-in-yourself" camp. I've been meaning to follow up on the first post for awhile. I wanted my second theme to be about faith.

It's been an interesting season. It's spring semester of my junior year. I've been very busy between jobs (three of them, one I hope to finally drop) and classes, while vigorously trying to make plans for the coming summer, applying for jobs and internships, and studying abroad in the fall. With all the things I want to do, it's like a puzzle that I hope to see come together, but my time is pretty tight! I'm seeing the blessing in continually seeking and asking God to give me guidance and provide for my needs. I can get overwhelmed pretty easily, and fall into the trap of considering myself self-sufficient and independent, when I really need to be falling back and trusting God at the end of the day. The self-sufficient idea is a lie, most of what I have, I didn't come up with myself. Finances for example. I have jobs, but I've had generous gifts from family and grandparents toward living expenses. When I look back and count where everything came from, I congratulate myself less and less by realizing my dependence on the generosity of others.

 So, concerning faith, I see this as a season for learning to fully rely on God. Even when we could consider ourselves independent, no one is ever immune from things going wrong, losing a job, losing a house. Learning to trust God is something I'll be doing for the rest of my life, no matter how well-to-do I might become. I guess this is a big deal for me because lately my goal in life had been to get to a point where I wouldn't have to rely on other people ever and I could construct my own safe-house entirely on what I had merited and earned. My thinking was off. I could see why people who rely on themselves become anxious. Maybe some people feel strong in themselves but I don't. I know I'm vulnerable and open to attack, just on my own. Life is too big for one small person. And that's not our purpose in life anyway, to have a comfy life for ourselves. It's a plus, not a goal. I'm hoping God will provide all these things as I seek him out, we'll see what happens :)